All posts by StephEvans

I'm a 34 year old mom of 2 girls. One is almost 5 the other is 19mo old. Before becoming a mom I was a snowboarder, rock climber and outdoor enthusiast. I became a wife and then had our baby girl in August of 2020. I now try to navigate how to continue to be all those things with two kids.

Finding Out You’re Pregnant While Living Abroad

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Lets back up to the beginning of the story. The heat of the moment, you, your partner under the full moon the moment is perfect and the decision is made to not pull out. You realize that you are ovulating and might get pregnant. Your plane tickets are booked to fly out of the country. Let’s rephrase that…MOVE out of the country. You’re supposed to start your period the day you leave so you take a test that morning, negative. You board the plane and land, still no period. No worries maybe its the stress of traveling or the lack of sleep mixed with the beers you had on the plane.

Another day passes, no period. You start to wonder, but then there’s some spotting. You think, “could it be?” But it’s not normal spotting, it’s that wierd brown color spotting that really makes you question the reality. So you go down to the local drug store and try to decipher what the heck a pregnancy test is in Japanese. You get your phone out and use a translation app to ask the clerk to please help you. Now we wait until morning because we all know that the hormone levels are highest in the morning. You wake up early because of the jetlag and you take the stick to the bathroom and pee on it. 2 minutes later 2 pink lines appear (thank God they have English translation) and your pregnant. You wake your partner unsure if you’re extremely excited or nervous and freaking out. Once you celebrate and get excited for this new chapter the next thing to tackle is healthcare.

International insurance doesn’t cover maternity visits unless you’ve been on their plan for 10-12 months depending on the provider and you research that Japanese insurance also doesn’t cover maternity visits. Panic sets in, “how am I supposed to live here and afford the care that’s necessary for being pregnant?” We got some discount coupons for the prenatal visits from the government and had to pay out of pocket.

Here’s what I learned about being pregnant in Japan this far;

  • Dont go to the doctor until you matter of factly can hear a heartbeat. You’ll be paying full price for these visits. 
  • Once the Doctor can detect a heartbeat the pregnancy is confirmed…yay!
  • Now you have to take that paper and go register your pregnancy in your local office.
  • You receive a book and a tag for your purse that says there’s a baby inside me (people are supposed to give you their seat on transportation) and coupons to help pay for maternity visits. Plus heaps of other papers/samples of baby care products all in Japanese that I have no idea about. 
  • There’s no English speaking obgyns at least in Kutchan where we were living.
  • You can eat raw sushi in moderation. Avoid high mercury fish and high contaminate fish. 
  • The Japanese are crazy about what pregnant women can or can’t do so if you plan to keep skiing/snowboarding or climbing I highly suggest not telling them that’s what you are doing. 
  • Don’t plan on being a ski instructor or working outside. The government actually says its illegal to keep working as an instructor and if it’s -10c or colder you can’t go outside. This ones not super unreasonable but you can’t lift more than 35 kilograms. 
  • If heaven forbid you wind up with a yeast infection or something like that and they find out at a routine visit, they wont call you, they make you wait until your next appointment which could be 4 weeks. 
  • Lastly, the Japanese do not like Americans and the doctors treat you differently. Don’t plan anything on your appointment day because you’ll be the last one to be seen regardless of appointment time.

Postpartum: The Stuff They Don’t Tell You With Vaginal Birth

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First of all, congratulations! Whether you’re reading this in solidarity or you’re pregnant and the title caught your eye. The journey, those cute smiles and coos just melt your heart and make the postpartum adventure just that much easier. Before jumping into my story I am not a healthcare professional and you should check with your healthcare provider on their recommendations. Also, before purchasing items ask what will be provided to you as I ended up with 2 of a few things.

So let’s get down to the nitty gritty. We spend 9 months growing, preparing for and talking about baby. But what about mom? Not everyone has the same experience but this was mine. After speaking with others it’s relatively similar across the board unless you’re lucky and don’t have any postpartum symptoms.

For starters, I felt like my butthole/vagina was falling out of me. It is really an indescribable feeling. You’ll likely get a hemorrhoid and if you don’t, I envy you. (PRO TIP: If you get the urge to sit on the toilet during labor try not to often or for prolonged periods as it will make it worse.) Peeing burns and will for a few days or weeks. This likely depends on tearing vs. just normal abrasions from birth. I tore up my labias (which by the way is a common thing) by day 4 I was still burning, it lasted 4 weeks. (LIFE HACK: Pinch your labias shut while peeing!!!) The PERI bottle will be your best friend. You will be swollen and it definitely looks awful. Don’t look if you’re really into having a “perfect” looking vagina because it does eventually go back to normal but it takes time. You will not be wiping especially if you tear which is why you want a peri bottle. You get cramps and contractions particularly worse when nursing. Mine were really painful and worse than period cramping. They felt like the cyst on my ovaries rupturing type cramping.

Speaking of breastfeeding, if you embark on this adventure, you need to ALWAYS keep water by you…it’s an indescribable thirst and snacks because I always was hungry to. Get a good latch and unlatch the baby if it hurts and try again. Your nipples will thank you. It’s uncomfortable until you get used to it but not painful. To unlatch baby stick your finger in the corner of babies mouth vs. just pulling them off. Look up different positions and go see a lactation consultant if you can. I highly recommend looking up the breast crawl and letting baby do this immediately after birth. It’s amazing to watch and experiment with the babies natural instincts plus it really helps the breastfeeding journey. As much skin to skin as possible is great for both you, partner and baby. But, back to the postpartum business.

SITZ baths with herbs feel fantastic followed by a padsicle. I would do a 20min sitz bath every day. See below for my recipes. I bled towards my butt so I had one maxi pad in the depends going up the buttcrack and one going up the front. This way you’re not having to change the diaper every few hours. The bleeding slowed at day 3 and I was down to one maxi pad in the depends. Put a padsicle in the depends at least twice a day because it feels good and helps the swelling. You’re going to pass descent size blood clots and that’s normal if it’s only a few. They feel disgustingly wierd coming out. Bleeding can last up to 8 weeks depending on your activity level. Use your blood as a way to judge if you’re doing to much. If you start bleeding more then ease up on your activity levels. Start by going on some walks. Get in tune with your body.

The first poop definitely sucks! Get a laxative or take a ton of magnesium. Trace minerals work wonders. Belly binding felt great especially with those after birth contractions/cramping. The first 40 days after birth should be focused on resting, belly binding and recovery only. Of course baby care also but give yourself that time. Postpartum baby blues is normal and some get full blown depression after birth. Talk to someone about it if you feel like you can’t cope. Put baby in a safe location and walk away if you’re frustrated. Eat and sleep as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your partner, friends or family and I wish you all good luck and a positive recovery.

What to Buy and Recipes

RECOMMENDED POSTPARTUM NECESSITIES:

  • adult diapers – Always Discreet
  • maxi pads
  • peri bottle
  • sitz bath
  • granny panties you don’t mind getting ruined
  • epsom salt or sitz bath herbs for postpartum (try asking a health food store/midwives or doula)
  • calendula tincture
  • lavender and frankincense essential oils
  • tucks pads for hemorrhoids
  • belly binder – I liked the bengkung belly wrap
  • trace mineral drops
  • earth mama nipple butter
  • witch hazel no alcohol – 2 bottles
  1. PERI BOTTLE RECIPE: Add 20 drops calendula tincture for healing and 1/2 tsp of witch hazel for the swelling, 3 drops each of lavender and frankincense oil, fill with warm water
  2. PADSICLE RECIPE: Soak the maxi pad with witch hazel only and freeze them. Add essential oils if desired

Birth Story: 100% Natural Vaginal Birth During the Covid-19 Pandemic

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Due 8/7 and came 8/9 at 7:06pm. 20.5in long and 8.2lbs

40 Weeks Pregnant

Hubby and I had sex on the night of 8/8 and almost immediately after I started getting contractions. This was about 10pm so we went to bed in the yurt and I was able to sleep for 45min to 1hr spurts the entire night. I didn’t inform Ryan that anything was going on as I had been having prodromal labor since July 4th and I wasn’t convinced these would ramp up. I would wake up to a contraction and having to pee then fall back to sleep.

Rude awakening! The contractions started coming on pretty frequently at 7am (every 3 to 4min lasting 1 min) but I was still not fully convinced I was actually in active labor yet. I woke Ryan up and said it’s happening, we are having a baby. By 8am, I had been timing them for the last hour, they were coming every 2 1/2-3min lasting for about 45sec to 1 min. I informed the midwives and decided to make coffee while listening to music, dancing and have a protein shake. I finished by doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Then, I decided I needed a cold shower at about 9am. Finally, at 9:30am, I told Ryan we should probably go now. We got in the car for the 2hour drive and about 30min in decided I could not labor in the seatbelt and was kneeling on my passenger floor and then the seat. In my hand I clutched the orange palm stone from our friends Jeff and Jenna while playing my labor Playlist. I had to stop on the side of the road to pee once.

We arrived at 11:30am after what seemed like an eternity. They were wearing masks, our temperatures checked and we were taken to our room where we found out I was 4 almost 5cm dilated and 80% effaced! I took all my clothes off, turned the music on and used the shower head to soothe my back labor and clean my dirty feet. They filled up the tub to sit in for some relief but that didn’t last very long. I decided to lean over a yoga ball and had my husband give me a hip squeeze and use the rebozo through contractions. I was having lots of back contractions. While leaning on the ball at about 2pm my water broke, I then had the bloody show and continued to leak fluid. Ryan and the midwives fed me coconut oil and honey sticks, bone broth and protein squeeze pouches. Then Ryan left briefly to go grab food down the street between my contractions. He fed me french fries and meat from the sandwich to keep my energy up.

At some point I laid on the bed on my side squeezing crystals and using a peanut ball between my legs while cuddling Ryan. This was transition, this was where I wanted to finally be done. I then moved to the toilet to get through the contractions and would float between there and the bed. I kept feeling like I had to poop. Ryan realized after 3 rounds of me sitting on the toilet that I needed to do something else as it was really straining my hemorrhoid. I decided the warm tub was my best bet.

My body started involuntarily pushing that last round on the toilet and I hadn’t been checked so I had no idea where I was at. The tub instantly relaxed me. I told the midwife Savanah I felt an insane urge to push so she checked my dilation and I wound up being 10cm dilated but still had a cervical lip. She decided to hold her fingers on it through a contraction to see if she could get it to move. It did, and I could indeed start pushing. I used the tub for support and counter pressure while pushing. Gripping the edge and breathing between contractions. I pushed for about one hour total. I was in a trance. She started crowning at about 6:45 and my husband looked at me at one point and said to push really hard. One more push after that she was out, Ryan caught her while I was squatting and clenching the sides for support. 7:06pm, I sat down and in my arms they laid her seconds later. She began to let out her first cries and puke up fluid. She let out her first meconium poop into my hand. The tub was drained and I was moved to the bed where the placenta delivered moments later. She is perfect and we are so in love.

The midwives left us to bond and see if we could get her to latch. We let her lay on me and explore the boob herself when she was ready. Something they call the breast crawl. If you’re unfamiliar it’s baby led breastfeeding. They have natural instincts to wriggle towards the nipple and latch without intervention. It works extremely well and promotes a good breastfeeding relationship between you and baby. After some rest she was weighed, measured and dressed. They checked my uterus and the carseat, then sent us on our way at 12am.

We were staying down the street at a rental where we could relax, bond and continue the newborn checks. Lots of sleep, breastfeeding and eating happened during this time. Visits from the midwives to check our health and do the newborn tests. It was finally time to bring her home.

Regardless of being in the midst of a global pandemic, I felt my birth was normal besides everyone else wearing masks. The most wierd times for me in this process were actually prenatal care and visits which you can read about in previous blog posts. I feel lucky to have chosen the birth center vs. a hospital delivery early on. My decision became even clearer after the pandemic started spiraling out of control and hospitals began filling up with sick people. I knew I made the best choice for my family without even knowing it at the time. So many people were trying to switch to birth centers and home births after it sank in there was no end in sight. I was glad to already have secured our spot. I’m grateful that we are all happy, healthy and thriving.

Have a lovely day!

Best Day Ever